My Humps
Mission 1.
Mission Three: Live without an apartment for a month.
Mission Four: Reconnect.
Mission Five: Re-take the SATs.
Mission Five: Become a PUA (Pick Up Artist) and wing Cali to 5 F-closes.
God, I am so fucking unavailable even to myself lately. I'm a complete slacker and a complete stranger. Life has gotten so busy that when I do catch a break, I just don't feel like going online for any other reason than to watch two young vixens tongue each other in womanly places I never even knew existed. Horny Rob is a dangerous cat. Meow!
I did get an e-mail from my friend Glib today and he wondered when I was going to post. I felt a bit bad since he called me last week and I forgot to call him back. Emotionally unavailable Rob Lowe strikes once again. Sorry Vermont. But I did raise a few bottles of 9.6% Sierra Barley-wine- style beer in your honor this weekend. I felt slugged afterward.
Tonight, I'm going to the Black-Eyed Peas at Universal Citywalk. Not really my cup of tea, but I don't find them abhorrant. I suppose I may find some cute girls there which I can look at longingly. And I hope Fergie pisses her pants like at San Diego Street Scene last year. That's what life has come to for me. So sad.
Tracy begged me to go with her tonight, and I felt obliged. Not sure if someone else crapped out on her or what. The seats are so close, I can almost smell the free-flowing urine now. Oh, and there is a chance Trac is bringing one of her (unnamed) young hottie clients. I may have to run some Rob game on the young temptress too. I'm already reworking to lyrics to my humps to try on her but can't decide if they should be "my lovely manly humps," or "my lovely guyly humps." If anyone has any suggestions let me know. Also, should I mention that my humps are hairless? Some girls might like that. Oh, and they really are.
I'm pretty happy about UCLA basketball. I've been watching the games all weekend. I had a bet with Jim that UCLA would get to the final four. No one believed it would happen with such a young team. The loser had to sit in the theater and watch every screening of Failure to Launch for a Saturday.
He's somewhere in middle america and I think it ran from 12-8. He said the first two times he was amazed at how bad it was and could legitimize his viewing as a social experiment. But after that, he was on suicide watch. The other part is for the next month he must quote the movie whenever I ask. It is a brilliant bet, and I'm happy to be on the high side. I have a feeling I will pay in Vegas in a few weeks. Really.
And Glib, I will call. Just not tonight. Tonight, I will attempt my romantic comeback.
posted by Rob Lowe @ 1:36 PM
16 comments
16 Comments:
Dude UCLA in the house! I was hoisting a sierra nevada clone that i brewed made in your name when UCLA kicked it the other night. I wish I still had that silly bruins hat you gave me last time we were in Vegas.
No sweat on the call back. Sometimes three time zones and and alternative lifestyle can get in the way.
Good luck in the final four. I'm rooting for your alma mater!
Wait, are you telling me that you shave your balls Rob? Or your chest...or is it your ass?
Damnit. This humps thing has me all confused.
And how sad is it that whenever I see Fergie all I can think of is that she peed her pants. You'd think that since it's been about a year I would have forgotten about it.
Shit, I'm like a twelve year old.
I guess it's okay that your alma mater is going so well and that you're getting action.
We're cool again, aren't we?
Howland will never win a national title. He'll get 'em back to the Final Four again, but he'll never get it done. Sad too. He's going to waste eight or so years for the school with the easiest recruiting job in the country. Sorry.
My dad picked UCLA to win the tournament, so usually that destines a team to lose. Maybe this will be the exception.
That Failure to Launch bet is one of the cruelest things I've ever heard. Fabulous!
How about your "hairless manly humps"? I don't think I would use the word lovely to describe any man's humps, hairless or not....
Of course, never seen yours, so could make an exception :)
Enjoy the concert and hope Tracy comes through with the hottie and that she's just as horny as our young Lowe!
I failed miserably in my office bracket. In fact, the only team that I picked to go to the FF that made it is UCLA. I am completely floored that George Mason beat Conn, especially since I didn't even give them a win.
Oh well.
Hope the BEP concert was worthwhile - they're playing here in Atlanta in a few weeks, but I'm blowing off that concert to see Cowboy Mouth. Much cooler.
George Mason all the way. Sorry, Rob.
Kind regards,
RK
Oh! I wish I could remember the site, but I found the best porn site online every one night. It had this thing about these two chicks...one was looking for a new roommate...the applicant needed somewhere to move quick...so she had to agree to do the kinky things the other girl wanted. spankings...my favorite. it was awesome. best one i ever saw...well, online anyway...it doesnt beat some of the porn i've seen on dvd, but as far as free online stuff goes, it was pretty good. haha.
All right Rob, seriously now. We need to have some PUA action and pronto. Enough about basketball and lesbian porn. I WANT THE REAL DEAL!
Now, I'm going out to get drunk tonight, with some friends and when I turn on my computer in a still drunken haze tomorrow morning I better see a good fucking story. Capiche?
(Wait, did I spell capiche right? Shit, I'd make a horrible gangster. Damnit, and I think I broke a nail. Grrr... )
I disagree with Jenni the blond. I want tales of lesbian basketball action..
I like qtpie's suggestion of 'hairless manly humps'. there's something beautifully poetic about that.
I Googled "Hairless Manly Humps" and Rob Lowe popped up. Honestly, Rob, you really should be more careful what you put into your blog. God knows what you will attract with that little offering.
rob... do you know i have a girlfriend now...no really!
Sorry dude.
WHere the hades are you robby bob
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