Death in Vegas
Mission 1.
Mission Three: Live without an apartment for a month.
Mission Four: Reconnect.
Mission Five: Re-take the SATs.
Mission Five: Become a PUA (Pick Up Artist) and wing Cali to 5 F-closes.
I'm not sure if anyone reads this blog anymore. But if there is one reader left after my hiatus, I only ask one thing. Never let me go to Vegas again. Seriously.
I am still nursing a mental hangover from this weekend. As a victim of peer pressure, I broke nearly every rule in my book. Against my better judgement, I went to a club. And as much as I hate to say it, I actually had fun. Maybe it had something to do with the bottle of Basil Hayden my friend Ms. and I downed before, maybe it was listening to Paris lip sync her single at 4 a.m. with a self-important, overweight Latin guy dancing next to her. Maybe it was how her sister stood there with the mic, not really sure what she was supposed to do. Or maybe it was how I drunkenly split Jim's million-dollar lip while haphazardly ripping off his drink-laden shirt. As much as I hated myself for being there, I loved myself with equal amount. I realized sometimes overpriced clubs are a trainwreck that can be interesting to navigate.
Life is getting back to normal now and I will soon write some things about the weekend. I did a bit of sarging, chatted up a few street-level hookers and did not see one set of tits that I had to pay for. I would say that is a pretty good weekend for Vegas. Friday night was Pure and Sat. was Mix at Mandalay. The latter should have been named "Pure" because it was a Pure sausage. But the lack of pussy at Mandalay gave us a chance to justify the reason we were there. To send "The Beautiful Driz" into matrimony with flava and just the right amount of class a group of L.A. guys can muster.
And the final word to any readers out there. If you go to Vegas and end up at the Circus Circus, you're as big a loser as Rob, Jesse, Jim and The Kid. Even the cabbie thought he was cooler than us. And he quoted Star Wars.
posted by Rob Lowe @ 12:21 PM
18 comments
18 Comments:
*I wish you had written this with footnotes.
Hi Rob, it's been a while! Sorry I haven't been around, being pregnant consumes me in more ways than one.
Glad you enjoyed your weekend in Sin City, what happens there stays there, so you should not hate yourself for going there, that is what Vegas is all about.
Circus Circus....oh boy, you are such a dweeb!
Wow. You damaged a million dollar face. Way to go, nerd.
I still check in to see what's going on in the fabulous life of RL.
Yay! You're back!
Y'know, I found some VIP passes that I was going to send you pre-bach-party. And then I realized they were marked "female only." Not very helpful.
But yes, promise me you won't stay at the CC again, okay? That place is acceptable for REALLY old people and people with kids. ONLY.
i'll never abandon you rob. glad you had fun in vegas. you're so super fly. lol.
check you later.
Die-hard fans of The Lowe will never abandon you. We are ever faithful (if not slightly obsessive). We are....The Lowelifes. Catchy, huh?
I'm intrigued though - why exactly were you trying to haphazardly rip Jim's shirt off? Hmmmmm....
Wow. I don't know what to say. I just came to say that Ashton Kutcher is ripping off your look (see the second picture of him, without coat).
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com
That sounds very similar to an experience I recently had, only Paris wasn't there...thank God.
I don't know Rob, ever since I turned the big THREE ZERO I haven't been able to throw them down like I used to. Maybe I could use a trip to Vegas to remind my liver what it's capable of.
That's the best you can do? Since when have you sucombed to peer pressure?
I must say the PURE place does look rather interesting.
This statement reminds me of my declaration, "I will no longer do shots after midnight." I imagine it'll be just as successful...
Cube-I love that you wrote this.
Monikaz-Yea, I'm a loser. When are you due? I imagine being pregnant gets old after a while.
MA- I'm glad you think I'm fabulous. If only it were true.
Muse-Thanks for thinking of me. These places are bank to get into, especially when you don't really want to go. We walked out of Pure $2400 poorer. That's two hookers in my book.
Kate-You're absolutely sweet. I guess its the east coast thing.
QT-You've got a talent with names. What was the other one you came up with? Can't remember now, but I am still a bit braindead.
Mystery-Boosting my look. Hopefully with AK things will catch on. I hear he's a nice guy, and Demi is super nice. Like nice enough to help a stranger find her sunglasses during her birthday party at Beverly Hills Hotel.
Jenni-I like the new picture. Yea, drinking now is much different. I felt pretty old in those clubs too. SHouldn't I be married by now?
Glib-Yea, I know that was an inside joke. By the way, Pure looks cool until you fill it with lame and desperate guys and chicks that only want to fuck celebrities.
Retro-You are way to fabulous to live your life by such a rule. If a handsome boy wanted to do shots at 12:01, you wouldn't turn into a pumpkin.
Yo Ho Moe!
I was not going to check your blog for a while and clicked by assident.
I sense a lack of oh, committment to your readers.. :)
I believe I did a Brangelina/TomKat thing with you and Alex and called you Rolex....
Or was it the time I thought you should go on tour and call it the Lowe Blows tour?
You're too kind :) I do kinda dig Lowelifes - can't believe I was so creative after working 70 hours already this week...I NEED SLEEP!!!!
July 20th is the scheduled c-section day! It's a boy! What is it with men finding out that they "produced" a boy, they get all silly and stupid...
Hubby is/has been all giddy...sheesh.
You are in no way a loser, as a matter of fact I think that in some ways you going to Circus Circus is endearing...
Take care Rob!
Play the slots with the little flying saucers; I always win.
This is turning into Death in Venice. Where are ya, Rob?
Sorry, I had a tough two weeks. Nursing 4 broken ribs from basketball and a weekend of drinking in SF with some friends.
1. Sheesh. Have you been playing tackle basketball?
2. Did you drink with Claven?
3. You are worse than me lately in not posting.
4. Seriously, I hope you are healed up soon.
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